Me: Not pregnant
Me: Honor student
Me: Not on drugs
Me: Never been in legal trouble
Me: Hard worker
Me: Not an alcoholic
Me: Forgets to put dishes in the dishwasher.
Parents: OMG You never contribute to this family. You're crazy and out of control. You never do anything right. You need to take responsibility for your stuff and this house. Be perfect.
Me: Oh okay.